Personal Space, Russian Formalities, and my Conjectures

It’s been a while. A lot has transpired since I wrote those last two posts, including a train ride to Moscow, a train to Ulyanovsk (Lenin’s birthplace), a week-long cruise down the Volga, and a 36-hour train ride back up to St. Petersburg.

BUT I’ll save those accounts for later.

I promised наблюдения (observations), and that’s what this post is about.

A large part of what drew me to Russia in the first place was a particular feeling that I got when I was here four years ago. I think I’ve since been able to identify some sources of that feeling, but have by no means pinpointed everything. One of those sources is the multitude of differences between the population’s standards of familiarity in public and private spheres. Everywhere in the city, individual Russians rush around in somber faces, as if their destination or origin were some sort of mourning ceremony. Occasionally, a group of students, friends, babushkas, etc. will pass by displaying their characters more openly, but the eye of the public still keeps them guarded during their forays into the streets of Saint Petersburg.

Though eye contact with strangers is a fairly awkward event even in the States, the Russian behavior in regard to the phenomenon is even more intricate. In the States, one might smile embarassedly or even strike up a conversation with the interloper, even with the knowledge that the conversation will rarely stray from the superficial. On public transportation in Russia, whether it be a metro car, bus, or even a small shuttle (called маршрутка), eye contact leads only to both parties looking away as soon as one’s wayward gaze is discovered. Turning one’s head to look about causes more heads to turn - everyone wants to know who the weird guy is that dares to observe others in their standing comas. Normally the unengaged passenger boards his/her chosen method of transport, immediately places his/herself in a seat or unobtrusive stance, and quickly completes a survey of their surroundings. The immediate goal of the survey is not to judge the other passengers, though this surely must happen, but to find an object at which one may blankly stare without giving the impression that one is covertly spying on any other individual. Whether one is actually conducting said espionage is not important. Searching eyes may find their peers in people facing each other, but again the immediate downward or lateral gaze is kismet. Thus, once the journey is underway, any turning of heads is met with an immediate cascade of other swiveling craniums, for the serenity of the travelers’ retreats into themselves has been disturbed. Those whose meditations have been broken must satisfy their curiosities.

Of course, the intoxicated futbol hooligans and weekend revelers are not confined to this behavior. Indeed, they exhibit a much more forward and carefree attitude than in the states. If in a group, they will involve passersby in their conversations (generally with the aim of making the newly acquired interlocutor uncomfortable or of extracting money for cab fare); loudly consult with their fellow celebrants as to the sexual desirability of the unfortunate stranger; or simply invite the stranger to join them in their escapades. One could argue that the same behaviors are exhibited in America, but their practice is confined to a much smaller portion of the active population. Even then, this small percentage is far less brazen and sincere than its Russian counterpart. Despite their intimidating nature to a foreign observer, these shenanigans are for the most part physically harmless, and good-natured.

«Good-natured». It’s such a ubiquitous term when describing Russian behavior. Even the frustrated cashier that demands 20 more kopeeks, or two or five or ten more rubles from the confused, uninitiated student (who was sure they’d payed more than enough already) is only doing so out of good nature. It’s easier to hand back a convenient 10 ruble note, than count out 9 rubles 80 kopeeks in change, and it’s certainly easier to carry that note around than locate a suitable pocket for the aforementioned change. Cashiers of all kinds in Russia - late night grocery store clerks, metro booth dwellers, flower stand owners - all of them seem taciturn and gruff when compared to the peachy, chipper employees at Sprouts or In N Out. Again, it’s only Russian behavior. It’s the way things have been for decades if not centuries. Employees are not actually having a bad day and taking it out on some bumbling American, they’re simply performing as expected. The discomfort an American experiences at being treated so cursorily is no different than the discomfort a Russian faces in America when seemingly interrogated by an American cashier who demands to know just how said Russian is doing today.

The refusal of strangers in Russia to appear more happy than they are simply to put other strangers in their company at ease is in large part due to their greater sincerity in the private sphere. Russian professors familiar with their class of 5 students will make sure that their students have had their bedding changed, bring DVD’s and CD’s for a student who presented only a minor interest them, and inquire after the whereabouts of missing pupils out of genuine concern for their health, not simply to catch a skipper. Russian friends often will touch each other on the arm, shoulder, leg and so on for emphasis or to gain an audience for conversation. Not only is the touching, patting, and rubbing accepted between friends of the same gender, it seems almost necessary to convey sincere feelings. Certainly the same standards of private areas are respected, and friends do not always display their affection tangibly. The lack of a such a large personal bubble as we have in the States, perhaps even the lack of a personal bubble at all, is remarkable, and to me, endearing.

I could keep rambling on, but it’s almost 10 pm, and I haven’t done any homework yet. I’ll write about our awesome cruise through the south of Russia very soon.